Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Randomize
