Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
