I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
