Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
