Sry I called you an 8
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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