Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Please, let me fuck your mom
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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