Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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