so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
