I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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