dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
