Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
