1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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