Fuck appropriateness.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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