My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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