I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
