i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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