Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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