Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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