I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You're so nebulous sometimes
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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