Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
