make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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