I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
