we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think my vagina is haunted
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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