I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
