absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
