She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
