peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is it because I queefed?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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