Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
