Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
