I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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