I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
