Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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