Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
