I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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