she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
