Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
