chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
