I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Sorry about my life...
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
