it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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