Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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