he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
