If that was your dad, he is hot
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize