O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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