the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
