What a fucking waste of an outfit
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
