Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
