real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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