And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
