It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
