I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
