Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
