Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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