I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
