new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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