So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
