kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need moral support for this bender
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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