i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
