dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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