in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
