All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
